Thursday, 19 January 2017

Chapter 4 : Choose yourself this year

2016 was a rollercoaster year for me and I would say I've learnt a lot of life lessons through people that I have met and things which happen along the way. 

It was a year of a huge change for me and I would say, change and pain always makes someone grow.

The greatest takeaway from 2016 was to learn to take courage and be brave; a strong realization upon myself to choose myself.

Choose to take courage for yourself this year. 

Take courage, take that leap of faith. 

Life's too short to ponder and consider too many factors which holds you back from doing what burns you inside. Of course, I'm not talking about making hasty and unrealistic decisions. 

It's time to make things happen. 
We always procrastinate, saying it's okay, there's always next time.

          Here comes my next question, 
                   "THEN WHEN?"

This reminds me of something that I wish to add on; In the end, we all regret all the chances that we never take. 

Do not wait for things to happen and regret when things have changed/ things are gone. That regret will sit in your mind and all you could afford to say will be, 
          " Why didn't I even try ? "

I would say, life's too short for regrets. 
If the feeling is right, take courage and go for it.

Take courage and try things you've been wanting to do, take courage to challenge yourself to things that you'd think you never do.

Choose yourself over being like someone else this year.

You see, people may not understand the battles that I battle within myself each day.

Sure, the girl in those photos may shout confidence. But that isn't me; who I truly am inside, is a very insecure me.

I glance at myself every morning in the mirror, I see a girl who wished she could almost change everything about herself each day; from blemished skin, to tanned skin tone, limp hair, dark eye circles that were perpetually there, the list could go on, there just wasn't anything good that she could say about herself.

You try to doll up, try to look the best that you can, not just for yourself, but to feel accepted by your other half, by everyone else.

We all fall victims to the society norms of  these days, I don't deny that I am a victim myself! We all want to be accepted, that's just human nature.
I believe most of you resonate with me; How many of you reading this have ever said this: "How I wish I was like... How I wish I had this... "

Don't get me wrong. 

It's not wrong to yearn or wish that you were better/ prettier in certain aspects but it's not good if you start to devalue yourself constantly thinking you're not good enough and subconciously allow it to affect you. 

You don't have to let your insecurities consume your mind and let it take over you. 

To change yourself to be like someone else- Just because you wanted to feel accepted, to feel wanted by your other half, it just doesn't work this way.

This brings me to my next point.

Choose to be with someone who truly appreciates the way you are, inside out this year.

If he doesn't appreciate the way you are, choose yourself girl. 

Take courage and walk away because this is the way you are.

 Be selfish and courageous to walk away from people who don't appreciate the way you look/are. That's exactly what I've mentioned in my first point. Be courageous enough to walk away from things/people that don't deserve you.

It took me that long to realize and truly understand this; Know your self worth and value.

Even till date I always remind myself this:
You are definitely worth much more. 

You deserve to be with someone who will see the beauty and appreciate everything of you. He's gonna see beauty in your every single flaw that you have, inside out, and not morphing you into someone whom he thinks is beautiful, inside out.

Choose to be with someone who sees the intrinsic value in you. Choose to be with someone who empowers you and make you become a better version of yourself.

Choose to love yourself more than anything else.

Remember this: You are not a second option to someone nor are you someone's guilty pleasure.

Why settle for someone that treats you like a second option?

You deserve to be loved right. You have every right to demand that.

A guy who loves you will never just text you because he feels like it or when he just happens to be bored.

He will keep you on his mind and will make an effort to show care and concern time to time and not just go missing in action for hours during his free time. If he gives you one word replies and leaves you thinking on how to continue the conversation not more than once or twice, apparently he's blatantly not interested.

 He will make an effort to ask you out not because he feels obliged to, but because he genuinely misses you and seeks comfort in you after a hard day at work. 

Communication is important to a couple. Simple gestures of asking "How was your day" or even random stuff by telling me what you saw during the day, means a whole lot. At least to me.

It's all about making an effort and doing little things to let the other party feel loved and appreciated as a whole.

If after trying to talk things through and your other half doesn't see the point in doing something to maintain the relationship or make you feel like you're in a relationship, please.

Take the courage and leave this toxic relationship because I believe we should never ever settle for anything less.

It's all about putting in effort and it goes both ways.

Finally, the last and most important point.

Choose to be happy over anything else this year.

We all know as we grow up, we prefer and appreciate simpler things in life.

Being truly happy isn't easy. We've all been there and we all know it.

"Learn not to say no without feeling guilty."

This is very true. We all tend to guilt trap ourselves and hold ourselves responsible for others. We often forget that we are responsible our own happiness, not others but ourselves.

Let's face the fact.

We can't please everybody as much as we want to be liked and accepted by people whom we meet.

Naysayers are all around and are in our lives for a reason to help us grow as a person.
We need to learn how to be gracious enough and not to let these negative people/thoughts affect us as a person.

I know it's easy saying it but we can't control others, can we! All we can do is to change how we think and react, and yes I don't deny I'm still learning on that.

Inhale the good, exhale the bad.

Sometimes we put our focus on the wrong things in life and forget to love the people who love us and have been in our lives all this time.

2016 has been a year of rude awakenings for me. I never knew how important being truly happy was.
It's time that I truly lived for myself and be happy again once more.

2017 will be a year that I choose myself, an adventure of stepping out of my comfort zone and a year of more learnings to be a better version of myself.

Here's to a fulfilling year of new beginnings for myself and to everyone who's reading this! ❤️

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